Snaps from the Pratiti Delhi Closure!

After 4 intense and beautiful months working on self, gender and diverse action projects, 1st November 2015 saw the Delhi cohort of Pratiti fellows bring their journey to a memorable end by co-creating a special closure event. Individual reflections, messages to fellow participants, evaluating and providing feedback on the fellowship and presentations on the projects done by each team were the major highlights of the day. Among the attendees were long-time PFP well-wishers, friends and members of various communities from across Delhi benefited by the action projects. Special thanks to Divya Mukand from Pravah Delhi and Kanika Sinha, a valued mentor for PFP, both of whom graciously agreed to be impromptu chief guests to present the fellows with their well-deserved mementos, bringing to a perfect end the first phase of this unique initiative to challenge Gender Based Violence in India (Onwards to Jaipur!)

Some snaps from the special day below:

The journey thus far - Somesh speaks

Somesh Menon

Somesh is working as a Program Do-er Officer with People for Parity. He was a part of the cohort of Pratiti fellows in Delhi, and experienced the journey from a uniquely rich perspective - as an organizer and as a participant. He reflects on his experiences below:

"It’s been 7 months since our group brainstorming session yielded the words ‘experiential journey’ as a way of describing Pratiti. Safe to say in a cliché, for me on a personal level atleast, it turned out to be all that and much more. I suppose the words I type here ought to be revealing or profound or insightful, simply because of how privileged I was in being able to experience life on both sides of the coin, as participant and Program Do-er. Indeed, it was a tricky balancing act, to immerse myself fully into the workshop processes while remembering to arrange lunch on the side. This did not in any way make my experience feel less powerful or incomplete. On the other hand, I suppose being a part of facilitation discussions in office, and participant discussions in workshops, allowed me to satisfyingly resolve plenty of confusing conundrums that arose, mostly with regard to what was being done and why.

It was immensely satisfying and beautiful to see the workshops bring together so many incredible, diverse people into the same space, exactly how we had envisioned during our discussions all those months ago. As someone very new to Delhi, this was my first direct glimpse of the magical diversity this city held, one that I am still trying to fully comprehend. 

Not everything about Pratiti was meant to be hunky-dory, and thankfully so. In due course of time, I realized bringing together the participants into the same space, no matter how challenging it appeared on the outside, was actually the easy part. With so many diverse experiences, stories, opinions, knowledge bases constantly bumping into each other, there was an incredible amount of energy and vibrancy which enveloped the group, leading to occasional bouts of conflict, frustration and plain annoyance. In hindsight, I would have it no other way. 

There were tons of responsibility and sensitive timelines to adhere to. I am not the right person to comment on how well I pulled off the responsibility part of things. But if someone had told me even a year ago that this is what your life would revolve around a few months from now, my response would comprise equal parts mirth and equal parts fascination. Yet to realize that my life did revolve around something like Pratiti, if only for the briefest time, is something very overwhelming indeed. 

To conclude, I would only like to convey my gratitude to each and every wonderful individual I was able to meet, interact and work with. A lot of my personal growth has simply been due to the presence of these people around me, a unique and beautiful thing in itself. Being able to freely share experiences without fear of judgement provided all of us the perfect base to form friendships we know will be lasting. I have no other words in me to summarize what I think will genuinely reflect the power of an experiential journey like Pratiti. I suppose for things like these, vocabularies can seldom do justice and one can only really know when one has the privilege of experience. I sure had one I will cherish for the longest time to come."

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The journey thus far - Sapna speaks

Sapna Kedia

"'I have been working in the development sector for over five years. During this time, I have worked with government, international and civil society organizations to understand the nuances of social development, governance, advocacy and policy making in India. Gender has been an area of profound interest to me stemming from my personal experiences and my exposure to the issue during my academic life. I am very keen to take this interest forward and work on gender related issues within my community and outside."

Sapna was among the 20 fellows selected for the Pratiti journey in Delhi.

Read what she has to say about her experiences:

"I am a great believer in chance. While I do believe that we have to go after the things (and people) we want, I strongly believe and have experienced that what we desire comes to us sometimes in the most unexpected and simple ways. My journey at Pratiti began in the same way. 

A friend shared the opportunity with me somewhere in June this year and I remember being very curious about the nature of the application form. Anybody could apply irrespective of educational qualifications, how well you speak, what skills you have, what gender you belong to and so on. The only marker being one had to be between the ages of 18-30. I am 28..:) 

Filling the application form did not seem like a task, like most other applications often do. The Pratiti form was like having a conversation with myself. I saved a copy of the form and even today when I read it I feel like it gives me a glimpse of the me which I don't see very often or which I neglect. When I got a call to be a part of the fellowship, I was concerned that I would be out of place given my age, since the other fellows mostly seemed younger. I was assured it wouldn't be a concern. And as simply as that I became a part of the fellowship. 

It is in the nature of us humans to underestimate that which comes simply - we pride ourselves and others at clearing rounds and rounds of tough steps and that is when a sense of accomplishment kicks in - and thus I entered the Pratiti Journey with very humble expectations. Now when the Fellowship is over, I get a strange feeling looking back. 

I spent most weekends over the past few months with a group of 20 people , very very different from me. Some younger, some older, some straight, some queer, some extroverts, some introverts, some bearded, some poets, some singers, some dancers, some artists and some observers. I have never spent so much personal time with people who are so different from me as it is absolutely out of my comfort zone. I like to have my own group of 4-5 people and that's it. 

At Pratiti, I heard total strangers share their pain, their fears, their joys, their passions. I saw new friendships being built. I saw people break down. And then stand up again. I saw a new side to myself. I could be comfortable around a group of strangers and even grow fond of many of them. I could simply just have fun with people I didn't know and I could listen and share. Yes, there were those moments where I wondered where are we going and why are we doing this and those uncomfortable moments when all the personal sharing made me want to go back home because I couldn't handle so many emotions. 

But I stayed, because there was something that was working for me. 

I learnt to let go of my judgments' of people who belong to diverse gender identities. I have always been around heterosexual people, so I was very curious and intimidated about the LGBTQI community. I often feared I would unconsciously say or do something inappropriate. On my first day of the Pratiti workshop, I carried this fear with me and now after 3 months , it is gone, gone completely. I am still curious, but not intimidated anymore. I am now more aware of many of my privileges as a heterosexual woman (though of course there would be many more manys for a heterosexual man). I now carry with me a deeper understanding of 'intersectionality' and what it means to not be a part of the so called 'mainstream'. 

Pratiti gave me an opportunity to do something without worrying about the consequences, without looking at it as a task. Through the action project it gave me a chance to do something simply because I wanted to do it and no other reason. That has been so nice, so fulfilling and pure in a manner. It has made me deeply content. I often wonder why people want to be part of such journeys. I figured we are all searching for something .With Pratiti I am more aware of my search for that something."

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Follow the Pratiti blog for more beautiful updates from the fellows as they narrate their journeys of growth and transformation into gender leaders...

The journey thus far - Dhrubo speaks

Dhrubo Jyoti

"Dhrubo is a 26-year-old journalist who can't be beaten at the Oppression Olympics. Genderqueer, lower caste and uprooted, he wants to question you but also cuddle you. One part Bengali, two parts glutton and one part procrastinator, the only thing that bores him is his past astrophysics life. Make me more cultured and classy, he says, but doesn't believe in class."

Dhruv was among the 20 fellows selected for the Pratiti journey in Delhi.

Read what he has to say about his experiences so far:

"The beginning of a journey is often the toughest. At Pratiti, too, it wasn’t easy – adjusting, settling with others, into a family of strangers, learning to talk and trust and eat and sleep next to people who knew about you. But over the last two months, the wonderful people I have met have not only validated my faith in people but enriched my life in a variety of small but significant ways – conversations with those facing challenges very different from mine and the courage with which they fought against their demons. 

I learnt that it was alright to feel vulnerable and let one’s emotions forth, that if you trusted other people with your fears, they will trust you too – and thus the magical gateway into another person’s life, their dreams and aspirations and insecurities. 

None of it was easy. I fought and questioned, possibly disrupting others’ thoughts and actions – the rules seemed oppressive, the construct of a family, often the site of wanton violence and suppression, rang false, and the exhortations of sharing appeared manipulative. 

But just as first impressions peel away, the resentment gave way to wonderment, at the extraordinary collection of people around me, fighting both their personal and social oppressors with grace and courage. We discussed and talked about issues and people, debated problems, hugged and cried, held each-other through traumas. I learnt that journeys needn’t have the destination you had been told – that it could still be enriching if you reached a different destination, or didn’t reach at all. 

We spend so much of our lives in cocoons, ensconced among people and circumstances we are familiar and at peace with. Pratiti took me out of that and into rugged unfamiliarity, and my fellow travellers taught me how to walk and jump and run and be happy. In the vivid diversity and magic of my fellow travellers lay the essence of my experience. This is one family I wouldn’t mind coming back to."

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Follow the Pratiti blog for more beautiful updates from the fellows as they narrate their journeys of growth and transformation into gender leaders...

The journey thus far - Aishwarya speaks

Aishwarya Vaishnav

"Aishwarya is currently pursuing her Master's degree in Development Studies from Ambedkar University Delhi. She is a graduate in English Literature from Lady Shri Ram College, DU and harbours immense passion for creative writing, travelling and reading."

Aishwarya is among the 20 fellows selected for the Pratiti journey in Delhi.

Read what she has to say about her experiences so far:

"Pratiti. 

When I received the mail confirming the date and time for the Pratiti Closure Ceremony a while ago, it triggered two things - gave structure to the ghost I was trying not to acknowledge and made me look back on what the decision to apply to Pratiti turned out to be. The journey has been beautiful, the kind that makes it hard to let go. 

How I came to apply for Pratiti is the oddest memory. I was supposed to be working on field in Jharkhand, on an internship I had strived for months and gotten through. Ten days into the internship with my head bobbing like a light cloud, in love with the land and the people and life at the moment, I met with an accident and broke my leg and had to come back home. 

I was always a restless child, with a restless mind. Now I couldn’t walk and was wandering vicariously through TV and the internet. When I was supposed to be working, everything else felt like a waste of time and the foot inside the plaster cast was a foot trapped in hell. Haha! I see the exaggeration now, but I had a broken foot and a broken heart then. I think this incidence started a process of change and Pratiti came to be the first step. 

I came across the Pratiti application rummaging through my AUD mail, and decided to apply because of what the description suggested and because the dates fit perfectly – a week after my plaster gets off. A very extensive application form, which required a good deal of thinking. Gender issues were not my first agenda to apply for, yet somewhere through the application I realized what it meant to me; they were valid questions that I had not asked myself before. It was the first cue to ‘self discovery’ as the description had suggested. I have to admit, I wrapped the application around 4 in the morning and I don’t exactly remember what I wrote now. 

Launch event is another fond memory, I was struck by the positive energy of that one hall with several stalls, too many colours and activities happening simultaneously. Met Sapna there :) It gave a glimpse of what the journey could be, a walk through different activities and each could mean different things to me, that only I must realize for myself. 

The workshops were a shaking up experience. I felt like an old rug being beaten up to shake off the dust that had fogged up what I should look like and feel like to myself. The week after the two days' workshop, I was the most vulnerable. It was time to acknowledge the relationships that shaped me and accept things out of my control. Four years away from home and a long distance relationship of close to five years with no meeting place in sight, I was lost and the reality didn’t make sense. Pratiti fellows came to be a support system, our weekend sessions a respite and PfP office a safehouse. My beautiful team and our efforts together were something I could be proud of, in all the mess. Through all its phases Pratiti opened me to a potential I didn’t see and possibilities I couldn’t fathom. 

There is still a lot left to do. Our action project remains to be wrapped up and four months of Pratiti didn’t exactly feel that long. But I find hope in the notion that the journey doesn’t have to end with the closure ceremony..."

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Follow the Pratiti blog for more beautiful updates from the fellows as they narrate their journeys of growth and transformation into gender leaders...

The journey thus far - Shazlie speaks

Shazlie Khan

Shazlie is an Economics Graduate from the University of Delhi. She spends an inordinate amount of time contemplating converging world problems. When she's not busy playing an angst ridden non-teenager, she can be found engrossed in books and TV shows or chasing around dogs.

Shazlie is among the 20 fellows selected for the Pratiti journey in Delhi.
Read what she has to say about her experiences so far:

"Weary of my complaints about a perpetual feeling of what the Germans call ‘Weltschmerz’, a friend texted me one day and suggested I apply for Pratiti. The registration form turned out to be an outlet for my long contained anger towards gender disparity and I typed away fervently.

In the beginning, the prospect of self-disclosure under the scrutiny of twenty three pairs of eyes made me uneasy but I soon found Pratiti to be a place devoid of judgement and criticism, allowing free transaction of feelings. It has since then enabled me to examine critically the internal factors that inhibit me, to get in touch with my core values and needs, and encouraged me to find the strength to be my authentic self. It has helped me summon the courage to verbalise traumatic experiences and resolve suppressed emotions associated with them. But most importantly Pratiti has reaffirmed my belief that seeking emancipation from shackles of moral and social construct does not make me a rebel, and that my demand for equal treatment is fair. 

I had come there hoping to suddenly construct a gender equal world (a rather starry eyed vision, I now believe). Instead, Pratiti made me realise that external change must start with inner regeneration. Fernando Pessoa once said “A sensitive and honest-minded man, if he’s concerned about evil and injustice in the world, will naturally begin his campaign against them by eliminating them at their nearest source; his own person. This task will take his entire life.” This is sort of what Pratiti has been about to me. 

Keeping in mind our hope to build a city that is for everyone, my team’s project investigates the role of Gender in Public Spaces through a video tool created by filming a multitude of local perspectives from diverse genders. By mapping personal and political experiences it strives for cross gender communication and sensitisation. As the journey's end draws near I am filled with both excitement towards seeing the culmination of our projects and a dread of seeing the end of something beautiful..."

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Follow the Pratiti blog for more beautiful updates from the fellows as they narrate their journeys of growth and transformation into gender leaders...

The journey thus far - Rakesh speaks

Rakesh Bhatt

Singer-Dancer-Puppeteer-Leader, Rakesh lives in the Kathputli Artisans' Colony, Shadipur. He wishes to learn and understand as much as he can about gender, sexuality and violence with the intention of using this knowledge to to improve the lives of people in his community. 

"I am Rakesh. I live in New Delhi but I belong to Rajasthan. I'm an artist. I've been abroad three times to perform dance. I like traveling because it gives me the chance to meet new people and get experience."

Rakesh is among the 20 fellows selected for the Pratiti journey in Delhi.

Read what he has to say about his experiences so far:

"Pratiti ka safar mere liye ab tak ka bohot hi behtreen safar raha. Jab humari pehli workshop thi USO House mein woh atmosphere mere liye bilkul naya tha. Us din mein bohot nervous tha. Hum 20 log chune gaye the jinme se sabhi logo se meri jaan pehchaan nahi hui the. Lekin phir humari 2 din ki Residential workshop aise me sabhi logo ache se jaanne ka maukamila. Sabhi ki zindagiyon se alag-alag awaaze sunne ko mili. Mene bhi apni kahani share ki or bohot hi dilchasp raha. 

Mera pratiti se judne ka main ek reason yeh thi ki mein yaha se kuch seekh kar jaun or apne doston or families me share karu. Is safar ne mujhe apne aap ko aur gehrai se samajhne ka mauka diya. Pratiti facilitators Aditya, Arushi and Sukhmani they all are very nice people. Inhone hume bohot achche se facilitate kiya. Mujhe zyada English samajh nahi aati. Jab bhi koi team member English me baat karta toh facilitators hume bohot hi ache se hindi me translate late karte hai. Mujhe bohot acha lgta hai. 

And yes, one of my favourite session was with Arushi ‘heart to heart’. Session se pehle mein bohot hi nervous tha. I felt like I am in panic zone. Lekin hum dono jab baithe toh bas apne aap hi jo baate mere dil me thi sab baahar aane lagi. Is session me mujhe bohot acha or halka mehsus ho raha tha. Dil kar raha tha bas ye session chalta hi rahe. I am actually very happy to have this beautiful experience and journey. Thank you Pratiti..."

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Follow the Pratiti blog for more beautiful updates from the fellows as they narrate their journeys of growth and transformation into gender leaders...

The journey thus far - Pratibha speaks

Pratibha Arya

"Hi I’m Pratibha. I am doing my Masters in Gender Studies from Ambedkar University Delhi. I love to interact with new people because I think everyone has some unique thoughts and perceptions and you can learn something new from them. I also love to read fiction and epistolary novels. "

Pratibha is among the 20 fellows selected for the Pratiti journey in Delhi.

Read what she has to say about her experiences so far:

"One of the most courageous things one can do is to identify the violence within oneself and how one is going to go against it. I would be starting from the very first day, when I got to know about Pratiti the fellowship. I found it very intensive and was deeply resonated by it. 

This journey began with a workshop over 3 days. I was very excited, thinking that now is the time to reflect and explore more about Gender Based Violence (GBV). The residential workshop proved to be very energetic and intensive. It helped me to disperse a lot of the violence present inside me and brought a major change as I began to develop into a non-judgmental person. I have been able to begin to challenge GBV in my life. 

The other fellows are very supportive and I think for me, it is incredibly motivating to be surrounded by such enthusiastic group members. It’s already been four months into Pratiti. With work ongoing on action projects, my team is all set to speak up and act, on making some steps to unchain the dichotomy of gender stereotypes in public spaces that will hopefully forge a small, meaningful change for all genders and bring gender equality. The Pratiti journey continues to grow for me and I believe a lot more is still to come as I continue my fellowship with such beautiful fellows..."

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Follow the Pratiti blog for more beautiful updates from the fellows as they narrate their journeys of growth and transformation into gender leaders...

The October Update + Arushi's sharing!

On Sunday, the 11th of October, 2015, the PfP Pratiti family got together for one of their penultimate workshops to celebrate what has been an eventful and memorable journey over the last 4 months. The day began with the usual gupshup and catching up between all the fellows before they gathered together in a circle to individually share about their journeys with each other.

Aditya (right) introduces the group to the day's sessions

Beginning with an energizer session which saw everyone refresh themselves through a fun, relaxing exercise, the day moved on to include processes that facilitated deeper interactions and engagements with fellows sharing in larger and smaller groups alike.

Ms. Aqeela Datoo, representing the Aga Khan Development Network was also invited to join the space in one of the sessions. Aqeela was able to gain insights into PfP and Pratiti’s processes by herself actively participating with the fellows in a discussion on understanding sexuality. 

Megha (left extreme) shares about her journey

Like always, the workshop was interspersed with laughter and conversations during breaks for tea and lunch, as well as for the in-demand Secret Angel presentations, where loving, personal gifts were secretly bestowed and joyously received within the entire group.

An intense session on conflict resolution was followed by the eagerly awaited icing on the workshop cake - the visit of Vasu Primlani. Vasu, an internationally renowned stand-up comic, acclaimed environmentalist, athlete, openly gay feminist and healer introduced the Pratiti fellows to somatic healing, a practise she held deep personal faith in and wished to share with those seeking healing in the PfP family (more on that below!).

Arushi (right extreme) facilitates a session

The day concluded with a quick review of each group’s projects and a sharing of individual experiences within them, with the fellows looking forward to presenting their work at the Pratiti Delhi journey’s upcoming closure event.

Below we have Arushi Mittal, the PfP co-founder, sharing a beautiful personal account of Vasu’s visit:

Finding Boundaries with Vasu Primlani

"The physical human form interests me as much as the mental one, if not more. My curiosity about the body and mind connect and the relation of self to these two often leads me to unexplored territories. Interacting with Vasu Primlani at a People for Parity community meet-up was one such experience.

Early evening on a Sunday, as I sat in a typical PfP circle with Pratiti fellows, Vasu began her session by explaining to us how our bodies store trauma, and how different bones protect our vital organs not only from physical injuries but also from mental trauma. This seemed plausible. But what happens to these protective shields then, I thought? I was to find my answer soon as Vasu went about “auditing” each of us in the room for how much trauma do the bones in our upper body store. She seemed to be gentle in her approach (though serious in her demeanor), and it was interesting to observe that people reacted quite diversely to her audit. But what was even more intriguing was her comments on each person’s personality and approach towards dealing with the outside world, which seemed to fit uncannily for most of us. As she moved form one person to another, the atmosphere grew more focused towards her, and people anticipated what would their results be, at least I did.

Vasu Primlani (seated center) conducts her session with the group

Vasu shared her experiences with GBV survivors and asked all of us to rate the pain we felt on a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being the maximum pain we have ever experienced during the audit. When my turn came, and she reached for my bones and applied pressure with her fingers at a few specific points, my face distorted. I had to try hard to not let out a scream, as the pain I was experiencing was 8-9 for me discounting just a few instances of physical injury in my life. 

Vasu had mentioned that sometimes people don’t even know that this pain exists, but I felt that I knew about it, albeit without knowing why it does. And this mystery remained (and remains) even after I volunteered to understand my inability to say ‘no’ in the next part of the session with Vasu. She invited me to the center and to help me understand and define my boundaries, she asked me to raise my arms parallel to the ground and gesture “NO” in her direction with my palms facing towards her. As it turns out, it was difficult for me to do so, as I tried to bring my arms up, my entire body (and being) trembled, and it was quite a stretch to even stand still in that position. Then she walked towards me and asked me to accompany this with a verbal no – define my boundary – and as I attempted this, I broke down – in the moment because I could not believe I was establishing a boundary beyond which another human will not be able to reach me and harm me if I do not want. 

I couldn’t believe I was creating this safe perimeter for myself, and I was doing it on my own. As she tried to help me dig out what has made this so difficult for me, I could not find the reason from my past experiences but I could imagine that I am afraid of not being able to give people what they need, of disappointing them. Afterwards, while thinking about all of this I have also been postulating, if it is because I do not know how to take no for an answer myself, or can I not take no as I don’t feel I enjoy the same freedom!

Later, I was also asked to go around in the circle and say no to each person and observe their reactions which made me both happy and somber depending on my connect with these people. I feel it has been one of my most publically vulnerable times where I didn’t really have much in my power to restrict myself from being in the flow and this short experience has shaken me quite a bit. I was amazed by the warmth and kindness that Vasu and other participants offered to me during the exercise, and feel that the knowledge that I can set my own boundaries, that I can protect myself, that I can be my own hero has brought me face to face with a power I didn’t know I possessed.

The fellows and facilitators with Vasu

I understand it is a long uphill run ahead of me – of letting go of the pain that my body holds so close to my heart, of understanding my limitations, stating them (and without the angst, without turning them into thick walls or a glass house for that matter!), building respect and empathy for other’s limitations and appreciating the support (or the denial of it) they are able to offer to me in a moment. So, keeping my fingers crossed, and requesting you to do so too :) ..."

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As the Pratiti Delhi journey winds to a close, the Pratiti blog will continue to send out updates about the fellows and the beautiful work they have been engaging in. Stay tuned!

The journey thus far - Megha speaks

Megha Mukherjee

"I am Megha, an aspiring lawyer, a travel freak & a foodie. 

My philosophy is 'Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing'. I love adventure sports & I’m an avid reader. An inherent fighting spirit, a strong persona & fearless attitude defines me. I am passionate about helping people & for the same I’ve been working with an NGO for the past 3 years."

Megha is among the 20 fellows selected for the Pratiti journey in Delhi.
Read what she has to say about her experiences so far:

"When I was asked to share my experience so far in Pratiti, frankly speaking I stared for hours at my laptop for I really couldn’t find words to express my journey. This fellowship has cleaned up my lenses now and I have a better view of the world itself. 

I still remember while surfing through my FB account, I came across the PFP link & casually filled up the fellowship form. On the first day of the workshop, I was intrigued to see such diversity. I guess curiosity took the better of me & I decided to continue my fellowship. 

I admit initially I resisted any attempt to open up in the workshop, that I robotically went through most of the part for the sake of it, but in reality even without me realizing it, I was getting out of my comfort zone. In the end it was so overwhelming I cried like a child and I have never been more thankful, for those tears were bottled up conflicts and pain that washed off that day. I was so afraid of broken bridges that I was burning whatever was left. I was not allowing anyone to be remotely near me. In short I was drowning. This fellowship has pushed me to a better understanding of my own emotions. It enabled me to let people in. I now have a better perspective on Gender & Violence. 

How can one word have a deep impact on who you are? My team MARS took up this very cause & we are trying to bridge that gap, establish self-realization and create awareness in relation to Mental Violence. One thing I have surely learnt in the past few months “our gender, our stories are different but pain is the same, only the level fluctuates, we all hope for nothing but a better future “. 

For the first time in years I hope we get our shot in that future. This journey for me has just started and it’s a long road ahead but now I am not afraid anymore, just very excited..."

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Follow the Pratiti blog for more beautiful updates from the fellows as they narrate their journeys of growth and transformation into gender leaders...

The journey thus far - Dhruv speaks

Dhruv Tejaswi

Dhruv is a law graduate from the University of Delhi and is currently working with International Planned Parenthood Federation (IPPF South Asia Region), Delhi, mainly dealing with governance restructuring of NGOs in nine South Asian countries. While not at work, he enjoys reading, poetry, singing and is obsessive about news feeds. He believes empathy can make the world a better place to live and should be the first step towards any change.

Dhruv is among the 20 fellows selected for the Pratiti journey in Delhi.

Read what he has to say about his experiences so far:

"What started out of curiosity to read and apply for Pratiti Fellowship, the journey so far has been a roller coaster ride. But a ride that is worth taking. The only reason I applied for the fellowship is because the questions asked in the application did not harp on the standard questions that are usually asked in the fellowship applications. They rather made me think and answer honestly about myself. 

The workshops that ensued in the fellowship made me stop for a moment and think about myself. I realised that over the years of the rat race, how less had I thought and asked questions about myself. The ‘stretching sessions’ as they are called at the fellowship, made me ask the basic existential questions about life and the purpose of my life itself. It gave me a sense of awareness and did prod my inner critic to ask uncomfortable questions about myself. But at the end of it, when I look back, they helped me immensely. They helped me to envision the future with clarity and at the same time made me realise that one cannot get answers to everything and it is perfectly fine to have open ends. 

A diverse and stellar set of individuals that I encountered along the path of the fellowship has given me strength and has made me more empathetic. It has put in touch with some of the most wonderful individuals and experiences I would cherish for the lifetime. From our mood swings to working late in the night on the project, the fellowship always pushed me to give anything but my best. 

The project I am currently working in creating a safe university space for LGBTIAQ students has made me realise that dreaming of making a difference isn’t a cliché after all. Every day, as I come back from work and automatically start thinking of the project, I realise how passionately I am involved in something after a very long time. When a 17-year old young girl calls me up in the middle of the night and discusses how she would like to come to the Queer Campus meetings but is apprehensive and nervous, I put the phone down after an hour-long conversation with a great sense of satisfaction that I could make a difference in my own small way. 

As the fellowship is nearing an end, I also realise that this is just the beginning of a long journey ahead and this journey continues. As clichéd as it might sound, I would like to quote one of my favourite poets Robert Frost – 

“Two roads diverged in a wood, and I — 

I took the one less travelled by, 

And that has made all the difference.”"

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Follow the Pratiti blog for more beautiful updates from the fellows as they narrate their journeys of growth and transformation into gender leaders over the next 2 months...

The journey thus far - Deepak speaks

Deepak Kumar Jha

Journalist, poet, blogger and theater artist, Deepak shines as a beacon of creativity, constantly enthralling the rest of us with his beautiful Hindi poetry.
"I am a student of nature & this beautiful world. I don't want to use this life casually or with some purpose, rather I want to live this life to learn a lot, to explore myself and everything around myself. I'll not accept anything without examining the truths and the lies. I want to live with love, with success and failure."

Deepak is among the 20 fellows selected for the Pratiti journey in Delhi.
Find below some philosophical musings regarding his experiences thus far:

‘शेक्सपीयर के ‘हैमलेट’ से लेकर आज तक का सबसे बड़ा सवाल ‘रहना है या नहीं रहना है।’ सपनों के सुंदर गुब्बारे, आश्वासनों का लेमनचूस, दिलफरेब दिलासों के बीच दुनिया की तमाम प्रार्थनाओं से बाहर पीड़ा के पथ पर रेंगते हुए सांसें लेना। मर नहीं जाना ही जीना है तो इस वक्त दुनिया में अनगिनत लोग जी रहे हैं। हर बात पर जो ‘जी’ कहते हैं और जो जी न लगने पर भी जिए जा रहे हैं।’

प्रेम जी की इन्हीं पंक्तियों के बीच जिंदगी के डीटीसी की दौड़ती बस कब प्रतीति के अड्डे पर जा रूकी पता ही नहीं चला। किसी ने हाथ दिया और रुक गया। जैसे चलती बसें अक्सर कहीं भागती भीड़ में खुद को ढूंढ़ने के लिए रोक लिया करती हैं। चौबीस सालों की उठा-पटक ने हालत जर्जर कर दी थी। मुश्किल था। चमचमाती कतार में खुद को खड़ा कर पाना। बड़ा गुमान भी था। सीने पर स्याह निशान लिए जिए जाने का। पर यहां रुका तो लगा जैसे इस अड्डे के लोगों ने तो त्रासदी झेली है। अपनों की। रिश्तों की। चुप रहकर। जहर का घुंट पी कर। वर्षों से। जिस्म पर दाग ऐसे की जख्म शर्मिंदा हो जाएं। तुम सब को मेरा सलाम। इसलिए नहीं की तुम जिगर वाले हो। बल्कि इसलिए कि तुमने ‘जिगर’ को ‘जिगर’ समझा है। क्योंकि तुमने धधकते आग में धड़कते हुए दिल को सुना है। इसलिए दिल में उतर गए हो। ताउम्र साथ रहोगे जबतक बस चलती रहेगी। तुम लोगों के साथ मैं सवारी भी हो गया हूँ – पहचान का। उत्तरदायी हो गया हूँ – समाजिक हिसाब का। पता नहीं तुम्हारा झंडा अपने उपर लगा पाउंगा कि नहीं पर हाँ, हार्न जरुर बजाउंगा  ‘No horn plz’ होने के बावजूद। समझदार लोगों के लिए पूरी दुनिया खुली हुई है। जहाँ समझदारी बिकती है और तौली जाती है। पर समझदारों के बीच रहकर भी अगर आप ‘पहचान’ की बात कर नासमझी दिखाते हैं तो एक बार इस अड़डे पर जरुर रुकिए। फेसबुक की तरह किसी का टाईमलाईन देख लेने जाने जैसा ही। यकीन मानिए फ्रेंड रिक्वेस्ट भेजे बिना दिला मानेगा नहीं। ‘स्टेटस’ बनाने के लिए एक बार अपना ‘स्टेटस’ चेंज करके देखिए।

मैं बहुत दिनों से बहुत दिनों से

बहुत-बहुत-सी बातें तुमसे चाह रहा था कहना

उपमा संकतो में

रूपक में, मौन प्रतीकों में

- मुक्तिबोध

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Follow the Pratiti blog for more honest & beautiful updates from the fellows as they narrate their journeys of growth and transformation into gender leaders over the next 2 months...

The journey thus far - Samrat speaks

Samrat Sharma

"I am Samrat Sharma, 28 from Delhi. Presently, I am pursuing Mphil from Delhi University. I am also a certified commercial pilot in USA and India but my passion lies in reading and travelling. I enjoy reading a good book, a walk with my pet dogs and sometimes writing poetry." 

Samrat is among the 20 fellows selected for the Pratiti journey in Delhi.
Read what he has to say about his experiences so far:

"It’s a myth - that change is never good. I chanced upon People for Parity’s Pratiti Fellowship and applied for it without any prior experience or knowledge. Change was good. Until recently I had immersed myself in theoretical knowledge about gender within the four walls of my room and without any regard for the personal (not only of myself but others as well). 

It is during the workshops, which were spread over a period of two months, that I learnt several important aspects about gender with respect to the community and the ‘self’. What I particularly liked about the workshops was the fact that I met people from different backgrounds, who together questioned class, caste, gender, sex, age and other topics considered either sensitive or taboo. It helped me fight my problem of extreme anxiety and self-judgment. 

Nevertheless, I would not characterize Pratiti as merely a therapeutic space as it would be reductive and an insult to its purpose. It is a place of learning where I could let down my guard and debate on topics without feeling attacked. This I consider a milestone in my life as I stepped out of my comfort zone especially that in my house. I believe this is what Pratiti means when it stresses about being part of a community. 

Now being part of a team and our action projects near completion, the last few months seem surreal- a stressful surreal dream. We all pushed ourselves physically, emotionally, psychologically... but what we gained is permanent. 

I believe I shall not be too scared to question issues close to my heart, even if I am wrong (so what if I am wrong?). I will learn something new..."

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Follow the Pratiti blog for more beautiful updates from the fellows as they narrate their journeys of growth and transformation into gender leaders over the next 2 months...