On Sunday, the 11th of October, 2015, the PfP
Pratiti family got together for one of their penultimate workshops to celebrate
what has been an eventful and memorable journey over the last 4 months. The day
began with the usual gupshup and catching up between all the fellows before
they gathered together in a circle to individually share about their journeys with
each other.
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| Aditya (right) introduces the group to the day's sessions |
Beginning with an energizer session which
saw everyone refresh themselves through a fun, relaxing exercise, the day moved on to include processes that facilitated deeper interactions and
engagements with fellows sharing in larger and smaller
groups alike.
Ms. Aqeela Datoo, representing the Aga Khan
Development Network was also invited to join the space in one of the sessions. Aqeela
was able to gain insights into PfP and Pratiti’s processes by herself actively
participating with the fellows in a discussion on understanding sexuality.
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| Megha (left extreme) shares about her journey |
Like always, the workshop was interspersed with
laughter and conversations during breaks for tea and lunch, as well as for the
in-demand Secret Angel presentations, where loving, personal gifts were
secretly bestowed and joyously received within the entire group.
An intense session on conflict resolution was
followed by the eagerly awaited icing on the workshop cake - the visit of Vasu
Primlani. Vasu, an internationally renowned stand-up comic, acclaimed
environmentalist, athlete, openly gay feminist and healer introduced the
Pratiti fellows to somatic healing, a practise she held deep personal faith in
and wished to share with those seeking healing in the PfP family (more on that below!).
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| Arushi (right extreme) facilitates a session |
The day concluded with a quick review of each group’s projects and a sharing of individual experiences within them, with the fellows looking forward to presenting their work at the Pratiti Delhi journey’s upcoming closure event.
Below we have Arushi Mittal, the PfP co-founder, sharing a
beautiful personal account of Vasu’s visit:
Finding Boundaries with Vasu Primlani
"The
physical human form interests me as much as the mental one, if not more. My
curiosity about the body and mind connect and the relation of self to these two
often leads me to unexplored territories. Interacting with Vasu Primlani at a
People for Parity community meet-up was one such experience.
Early
evening on a Sunday, as I sat in a typical PfP circle with Pratiti fellows, Vasu
began her session by explaining to us how our bodies store trauma, and how
different bones protect our vital organs not only from physical injuries but
also from mental trauma. This seemed plausible. But what happens to these
protective shields then, I thought? I was to find my answer soon as Vasu went
about “auditing” each of us in the room for how much trauma do the bones in our
upper body store. She seemed to be gentle in her approach (though serious in
her demeanor), and it was interesting to observe that people reacted quite
diversely to her audit. But what was even more intriguing was her comments on
each person’s personality and approach towards dealing with the outside world,
which seemed to fit uncannily for most of us. As she moved form one person to
another, the atmosphere grew more focused towards her, and people anticipated
what would their results be, at least I did.
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| Vasu Primlani (seated center) conducts her session with the group |
Vasu
shared her experiences with GBV survivors and asked all of us to rate the pain
we felt on a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being the maximum pain we have ever experienced
during the audit. When my turn came, and she reached for my bones and applied
pressure with her fingers at a few specific points, my face distorted. I had to
try hard to not let out a scream, as the pain I was experiencing was 8-9 for me
discounting just a few instances of physical injury in my life.
Vasu had mentioned
that sometimes people don’t even know that this pain exists, but I felt that I
knew about it, albeit without knowing why it does. And this mystery remained
(and remains) even after I volunteered to understand my inability to say ‘no’
in the next part of the session with Vasu. She invited me to the center and to
help me understand and define my boundaries, she asked me to raise my arms
parallel to the ground and gesture “NO” in her direction with my palms facing towards
her. As it turns out, it was difficult for me to do so, as I tried to bring my
arms up, my entire body (and being) trembled, and it was quite a stretch to
even stand still in that position. Then she walked towards me and asked me to
accompany this with a verbal no – define my boundary – and as I attempted this,
I broke down – in the moment because I could not believe I was establishing a
boundary beyond which another human will not be able to reach me and harm me if
I do not want.
I couldn’t believe I was creating this safe perimeter for myself,
and I was doing it on my own. As she tried to help me dig out what has made
this so difficult for me, I could not find the reason from my past experiences
but I could imagine that I am afraid of not being able to give people what they
need, of disappointing them. Afterwards, while thinking about all of this I have
also been postulating, if it is because I do not know how to take no for an
answer myself, or can I not take no as I don’t feel I enjoy the same freedom!
Later,
I was also asked to go around in the circle and say no to each person and
observe their reactions which made me both happy and somber depending on my
connect with these people. I feel it has been one of my most publically
vulnerable times where I didn’t really have much in my power to restrict myself
from being in the flow and this short experience has shaken me quite a bit. I
was amazed by the warmth and kindness that Vasu and other participants offered
to me during the exercise, and feel that the knowledge that I can set my own boundaries,
that I can protect myself, that I can be my own hero has brought me face to
face with a power I didn’t know I possessed.
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| The fellows and facilitators with Vasu |
I
understand it is a long uphill run ahead of me – of letting go of the pain that
my body holds so close to my heart, of understanding my limitations, stating
them (and without the angst, without turning them into thick walls or a glass
house for that matter!), building respect and empathy for other’s limitations
and appreciating the support (or the denial of it) they are able to offer to me
in a moment. So, keeping my fingers crossed, and requesting you to do so too :) ..."
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